Influence Peddler T-Shirts

'This is nice but I should be back at the Capitol peddling influence.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Cycling with a harp case

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Network Extending from Buttonhole

'Remember - Reilly's Chairman of the Board, but Henderson's the Alpha male.'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'Bring me some more power.'

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"This is off our first TikTok."

Witches of Instagram

Creativity 2.0

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'How do I get people to visit my...'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

"Hello, and welcome to Victor and Igor's latest unboxing video."

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"With great power comes great reward."