Infernal Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Nudist speleologists' convention

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Night of the Zombonies.

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Needs to get a life"

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

'It was great. I hated it.'

'I hate Mondays.'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

"Look, I'm dying. Gotta go."

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Turkey Autopsy

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

"I reap and I reap and it's like he doesn't even notice."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

Winter Weather.