Infant Intellectual Gifts

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Baby Piano

A midwife holding a baby

'The child is very illogical'

Miss America IQ Pageant

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Paul Ree

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"They look so young and helpless."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

Philosopher trading cards.

Assertiveness

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

A baby using a heavy duty drill

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"I have to get up for mine 3 or 4 times a night!"

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

Who's a cutey?

Caution. Slippery when wet.

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

Daisy Diaper Service

Look Mom! I'm cat-scanning!

Lost and Profound.