Industrial Warrior Gifts

"See? I'm not afraid of the big shots!"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

37 years in the same position.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Low-Energy Drinks

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

Office slaves.

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'