Indoor Aficionado Gifts

'I don't care what you say.. it's too cold to stand out there.'

Mom! Of course I know it's spring outside! Look at all the allergy commericals!

Bring Out Your Dead. . . Stay In Your Bed.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

Fittd shēt

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

Waiting Room Quarterly

James decided to stay in that night.

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'Oh, honey, what a lovely house... We'll place the couch here, the cupboard there and my psychiatrist right here!'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

"Now he expects to come in whenever there's a cold snap."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

Staycation Photos

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

Clock Face Golf Set

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

Trouble Ahead

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

'At least you're not going to have to worry about your denture adhesive anymore.'

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'