Independent Living Lover Gifts

'Watch yourself.'

Rental Agency. Yes, I want a single apartment. If I wanted to live with someone, I'd live in a togetherment!

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

Your Home Remodel Team

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Music

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

Nutflix

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'Honestly, madam, every home should have one.'

Self-Assembly Bookcase

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

Lady has a coffee break.

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

'And if you run out of macaroni Cheerios!!'

Painting and decorating

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"Now it's high definition!"

"I'm done fixing your wheel, but these were left over when I got it put back together."

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

Workman lifting plasterboard.

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'Of course, like everything for kids, some assembly is required.'

'I believe honesty is the best policy.'

"I only drink Arts and Crafts beer."

Keep your remarks varied but within context...like listening to Pandora.

"Don't worry. Think of it as putting together that Swedish furniture...there's always pieces left over."