In-person Interaction Pillows

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Glance Exchange

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

"So, what do you do for play?"

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"Great coffee, Carole."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

"Call me!"

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

"A raise? Unlimited free refills aren't enough for you?"

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"I have to give you credit. You're a pit bull and you're nice on and offline."

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

'We're looking for someone who can multitask - but not during the interview.'

"I'm a Doctor and I was in the house, but I have on stage presence."

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

'Gesundheite!'

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"