In-law Strategist Pillows

'Harold is so overjoyed about your trip, Mother, he's speechless!'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'How about a game of cards?'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'Brain surgery, right?'

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Corporate Lawyers

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

Sports Lawyers

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

Law Offices. Ernie's client left his fortune to his dog, and his cat is contesting the will.

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

'On the other hand, if we accept confessions extracted under torture then soon they won't need lawyers.'

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."

Who to Sue Today.

'Excluding our little granddaughter who called me 'orrible old smellypops!'

Lawyers offices, with todays score card. - Won...Lost ...Tied