Lawsuit Strategist Pillows

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'How about a game of cards?'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

'Brain surgery, right?'

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Corporate Lawyers

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

Sports Lawyers

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

Who to Sue Today.

It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."