Legal Battlefield Strategist Pillows

Corporate Lawyers

That's What Happens

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

"Have you got any arguments why the world should trust in US policy?"

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

The Thing That Won't Leave

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'The defence is ahead on points. Prosecution's only hope now is for a knockout.'

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Mission accomplished.

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

'Brain surgery, right?'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

When a nanosecond is forever.

Sports Lawyers

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'