Court Strategist Pillows

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'Brain surgery, right?'

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

Corporate Lawyers

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

Sports Lawyers

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

'On the other hand, if we accept confessions extracted under torture then soon they won't need lawyers.'

Lawyers offices, with todays score card. - Won...Lost ...Tied

Who to Sue Today.

'I think our best bet is the 'evil twin' defense.'

"Relax - not only does the devil have the best tunes, he's also got a great lawyer."

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."