In-law Meeting Gifts

'My wife can be argued with, but her mother's decisions are final.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

First Steps

Stockwell's day

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Mum, Dad... I'd like you to meet my fiance, Goldilocks."

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"He takes after your mother"

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'

"Friend or foe?"

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

"It seems like only yesterday we were in the age range advertisers covet."

How human migration got started.

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'All those in favor of getting a canary?'