Improvised Survival Gifts

Man on a desert island uses fish bones to hold up a hammock.

Commutobile

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

Drawing on an island.

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Rain or shine, me and you can do fondue!" "I'm ready for some yum!"

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

Using a dog to pull a tooth.

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

'I've gotten by on imaginative and innovative thinking. In other words, I make it up as I go along.'

Fox Holes

STRIP *Community Care * Imaginative use of equipment

"If the council is convened, I'd like to propose some measures to deal with the catastrophic change that has ravaged earth, leaving us a small band of scavengers."

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

"Have you been here long?"

"We're not supposed to talk to him until he's completed his corporate survival training."

'When I sent your out for emergency supplies, I was thinking candles, blankets, and food.'

'It's quite a learning experience. You'll be amazed at what you can live without.'

"I'm raising four kids, a husband, three pets and I work. This is nothing."

"In the absence of a piano....."

'Great! To top it all off, I've been put on hold!'

Chronically Unemployed.

'We ran out of tomato sauce so we substituted strawberry jam.'

Gamblers

'Typical village match. He has his pads strapped to his wellies.'

'We must be near civilisation - there's an abandoned supermarket trolley over there.'

"With people's busy schedules these days, it's a wonder they all can find the time to be out to get me."

'Today marks our third year on the island. . . let's use the good china!'

Lockdown sushi

Don't Get Involved...