Impromptu Performer Pillows

"God, I'll be glad when his genius grant runs out"

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Am I sensing fear?"

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Mime father in the delivery room.

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

"That's not a mistake, that's jazz."

"Pulled chicken? You don't want to know."

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

"Now is the part of the show when we ask the audience to shout out some random numbers."

Street violinists unknowingly plays a concert.

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

"No air guitar"

'My previous school only had a single-decker walking bus.'

Open Mic Night

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

10 items or less queue. (Woman has thrown eggs onto floor).

'I know we've got to save money, dear, but can't you use the phone like other people?'