Impersonal Language Expert T-Shirts

"Use impersonal language, or they'll ask us to take responsibility!"

Campaign for Plain English

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

WTF?

7 More Dwarfs

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

New Curriculum Timetable - All in Cantonese.

"Tip my boy."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'Cosa vuol significare 'Spaghetti Western'?'

Pets. Puppy Yums. Fish. I need parrot sales figures and a kitten inventory estimate. I'll do a polly graph and a cat scan!

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

"I know you're angry when you cross your arms."

Ernie, where have you been lately? At a Shakespeare class! Check this out! "Shall I compare thee to a summer's whey?" "To brie or not to brie, that is the question." "There would this muenster make a man." "The feta part of valor is discretion." Ernie, this course seems a bit cheesey. I thought it was gouda! Get me to a creamery!

Communikations Semminar.

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

Grim Reaper enters classroom where he teaches dead languages.

Chinese kids are much smarter than we are! They just score well on tests. They're grinds. We're creative! We learn to express ourselves! West Fester High School. We'd better learn to express ourselves in Chinese!

'I picked up my Latin from watching Roadrunner cartoons.'

'When I ask what our inventory is 'What ever' is not an acceptable answer.'

A teacher introduces the new student to the class - he's an alien - 'Good evening class, this is Zork and he will be joining us until he learns enough English to conquer the Earth...'

Cliche Workshop, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?"

Teen Owl

"Grammatically, the stickman should be behind the deer."

Eye contact zone next 50 feet.

'When a caller asks for me, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop saying 'who'?'

Grammar. Tenses: Present Past Future. No, this only applies to verbs. A deceased fly is not a "flew."

"Why study Latin? I guess so we'll know what Super Bowl game we're watching."

Everything starts with "e" and ends in "g".

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'i's' and cross the 't's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'Kid, I don't know if the plural is hippopotomi or hippopotamuses. I just say we've got one hippopotamus and then we've got another.'