Impatient Entertainer Pillows

'When do they actually start playing the Baseball?'

'You just couldn't wait to try out the new Jet Ski before we got up to the lake, could you?'

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"I hate waiting, don't you?" (patents office)

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

A cocktail in a tuba

artist painting portrait

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"Would you like to see my one-woman show about the specials?"

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

Pollution Free Cocktail Cabinet

Monk Parrot.

"No, actually the viola is played more like this."

Ventriloquists dummy

'Come on, make it snappy I haven't got all day,'

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

'I'm home from a mind-numbing day at the office, ready to watch some mind-numbing TV.'

No Presents Until Christmas Day

'When the alarm clock went off this morning, he said 'I'll drink to that.''

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The Imperfect Hostess

"You took your time!"