Impatient Entertainer Pillows

'When do they actually start playing the Baseball?'

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

"I hate waiting, don't you?" (patents office)

'Make up your mind, M'sieur — a hundred years from now, what difference will it make what you had for lunch today?'

A cocktail in a tuba

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

"Would you like to see my one-woman show about the specials?"

artist painting portrait

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

Pollution Free Cocktail Cabinet

Ventriloquists dummy

"No, actually the viola is played more like this."

Monk Parrot.

'Come on, make it snappy I haven't got all day,'

No Presents Until Christmas Day

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

"You took your time!"

'I'm home from a mind-numbing day at the office, ready to watch some mind-numbing TV.'

The Imperfect Hostess

'When the alarm clock went off this morning, he said 'I'll drink to that.''

'A clown? What makes you think you could be a clown?'