Impatience Experts Gifts

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.

Clancy Strip:At a Restaurant

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

Snail crossing

"I hate waiting! I know! I'll set this clock back an hour, and then in an hour...I'll move it forward, and 60 minutes will go by in a flash! Of course, we'll have to do this 176 more times."

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

The controversy of ROW VS WAIT: 'Row, to find fish!'

"I have a high tolerance for tedium."

"Today we practiced counting to five, and the teacher practiced counting to ten."

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it

Fishing Arizona- waiting for a flash flood

'C'mon! How long are we supposed to wait for it to blow?'

Snail Crossing - Two skeletons in the car.

"Then again, in some extreme cases, a swift kick in the pants is called for!"

"O.K., she's sitting down to write in three....two....one...."

"Welcome to the Department of Delayed Gratification. Take a number."

No Presents Until Christmas Day

"Good. . . evening. . . welcome . . . to . . . the. . . slow. . . cooker. . ."

'You've stayed on hold for 20 minutes? Oh, dear! You'd better make an appointment with Dr. Willems to work on your self-esteem.'

'Sorry, he's away and won't be back for a week.'

'With the kids back home and unemployed, it's hard to believe I ever suffered from empty nest syndrome.'

"The plan was to work out today, but now the toaster is taking so long that I think it'll have to wait until tomorrow."

Phone box - Thank you for not tapping

Thank you for not smacking

'Now hold on just a minute. Let's not jump ahead of ourselves.'

'There's Ron. He's always struggling with his wait.'

'I asked them to behave like adults, and they ranted, they raved, and they cussed a blue streak!'

The speediness of today's world and its logical conclusion.