Immortality Enthusiast Pillows

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

"Dear, I've bounced back from cancer, two heart attacks and a stroke. You know what kills me?" "Obviously nothing."

Alaskan Cryogenic Society.

'He got a deal where you die for two years now and get twenty extra years later.'

"If something doesn't kill you... you'll live forever."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

The Reaper's Arms

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"From this you make a living?"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."