Imam Gifts

'...Pants! - Forgot the megaphone!'

Religion Today

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

Night-time halo

God Sneezes Out Creation