Imaginative Whiz Gifts

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Nerd tryouts.

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

Sorry, I've said all I can say in this medium.

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

I've always been slower than computers...

'Quick, press control Z!'

"What's that you're reading?"

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

Sub Editor

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...