Imaginative Partner Gifts

"Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?"

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Mixed Doubles.

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

Holding hands

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Little Princess.

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Advanced footsie

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"The moon, the dinner, dancing. How could this night be more perfect?"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

You are simply the Greatest

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'Not bad kid, but you'd be vulnerable to attacks here and here.'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."