Imaginative Humorist Gifts

No caption. (Mouse drives a convertible car away from mouse hole as automatic garage door closes.)

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Japan

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Intelligent people laugh too!

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Scarcity

Football Chameleon

Archimedes statue with a lever

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"The Eggsorcist"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"I said slime."

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Schrödinger and his cat

Kultural K9's.