Image Conscious T-Shirts

"And this is what the tattoo you've chosen will look like in thirty years."

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

"Are you kidding me?"

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

'Do you have anything that reeks of power?'

"Would a beard make me look more academic?"

wattle covers

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

Baracracy

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Me when by BDD shows up

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

'Oh great,,, More protesters getting on our case about how the magazine industry creates 'unrealistic standards' for the human body,'

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

"My client has been convicted by the media, but I am confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal by the three major networks and the 'Times.'"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'

"Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been reading written?"

'I'd say it's pre-liposuction.'

Through thick and thin, John always managed to keep a stiff upper lip.

"I always feel fat when we play in Los Angeles."

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

'She was always very proud of her figure.'