Image Alchemist T-Shirts

Check it out. It's a fresh copy of my memoirs. Rudy Park. iMac, Therefore I Am. Calcutta. Photoshop is awesome. I repeat: This ends badly.

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Tiny Visions

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Baracracy

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

'Think outside the seed.'

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

2 Ohm and 4 Ohm Amps,

This picture of me in the annual report...do you think it really captures the true inner corporate man?

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

"My client has been convicted by the media, but I am confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal by the three major networks and the 'Times.'"

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'You sure you've got Photoshop experiance.'

"Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been reading written?"

Think Tank: Not responsible for lost or stolen intellectual property.

Royal Pic Photoshop

"I was writing a novel based on the idea of a man suffering from déjà vu, until I realised it had been done before."

'This is Photoshop. It's like the beauty salon of the Internet.'

Copycat.

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Just take the picture. I'll Photoshop in something really big when we get home."

Can you make me slimmer, get out some grays, and reduce my wrinkles? Oh, so what you're asking is that I leave and come back ten years ago.

'His last breakthrough came in a dream.'

"Your best bet is photoshop."

Style Consultant

You called? Yes, I need a new image!

"I want a pair which says 'fast' even if I'm goin' slow."

"When they get injured now, the physio goes on first followed by their stylist and image consultant..."

Er! Exactly when was this 'dress for success' book you've been readng written?