Beauty Alchemists T-Shirts

Makeup! Makeup! Makeup!

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Have you no common scents?!'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I don't like your application."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Hair spray"

"Botox."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"