Cosmetic Chemistry Enthusiast T-Shirts

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"I don't like your application."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Have you got your make up on yet?

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Desert Dermatologist

"Hair spray"