Illuminator Gifts

'What do you mean, you've used up your advance?'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Bright Idea

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

Creative family

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"I often get the feeling that I'm going to die young."

Christmas Dwarves

"John B.: Best Entertainment Value for under $1.79"

Idea/Theory

"I'm not doodling. I'm illuminating my homework."

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

Man lighting ceiling candle

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

Copycat.

"Above all do not open your sealed test booklets until you are told to do so!"

'I can take out some of the padding if I appear overqualified.'

'Sidestep the real issue $5'

"There he goes, waxing nostalgic again."

'My wife grew them from bulbs.'

Recovery We Can't Afford

Rainbow of light from an anglepoise desk lamp

"I loved the book and the mini series, but I wasn't so keen on the the record or the movie etc

That's the biggest turn on I've ever seen!

Man trying to find the lock in the dark until dog switches on collar light.

Welcome to Iowa.

Pear Lights

'You are advised to allow ten minutes at the end for demanding a re-mark.'

"It's the new LED model."

Man Holding Candle

"It's tough being a cartoonist when you need a 100 Watt idea each day, but due to the increasing power prices, can only afford a 15 watt one."

"Hold it. I've got an idea.Why don't you try working together toward a common goal for a change?"