Illumination Innovator Gifts

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

Bright Idea

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

Creative family

Television company new recruit

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

Idea/Theory

'What's this, Dawkins?another of you 'visual metaphors'?'

Paper Bath Towels.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

'What do you mean, you've used up your advance?'

Frog Umbrella

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

"The bathroom was recently remodeled with more options."

Strike Accessory #118: The Picket Sign/Umbrella Combo.

'I can take out some of the padding if I appear overqualified.'

'Sidestep the real issue $5'

"There he goes, waxing nostalgic again."

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

"And if someone dares to yawn during your presentation, this pointer easily transforms from a laser to a taser!"

"Congratulations on getting your 'Courage Under Fire By Media' award."

Man attempting to paint a room by exploding paint onto the walls - "Could I see your qualifications again Mr Baker."

Holding the frame for a portrait photograph.

"Hey, Love! Sitting up here has given me a brainwave. . . a lav and a bidet - combined! What do you think? Brilliant, eh?"

"I'm coloring it a little bit at a time, so it won't be noticeable."

"We are facing an existential threat."

"Well, right off I can tell the Feng Shui of your interrogation room is all off. The Life Area is in conflict with the Knowledge Area which creates a very powerful Alibi Area right here."