Identity Realization Gifts

"Honey, you’re overreacting. I said I think I might be gay."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'My life coach traded me.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Congratulations!

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

'I don't know who I am. I have a donor heart, a donor kidney, a donor liver,a donor cornea, a donor lung...'

Forming the adolescent personality

"You're starting to look like your old self again."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

Chicken out. . . and proud.

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."