Idealistically Flawed Gifts

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

On John Lennon: 'WE may say he's a dreamer,...but he's not the only one.'

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"So ... taking that nap during my performance review was a very bad idea."

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

A hippie saying "Peace"

"Let's run away and make a new life for ourselves filled with completely different problems."

Non-profit organization chart

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"Make it flimsier and even more infuriating."

Sad Statue of Liberty

"Sometimes I think the country would be better if I ran things!"

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

"What's the matter honey - having the American Dream again?"

"I deal. Therefore I am an idealist."

Optimistic Optometry: Sale Rose-colored glasses.

Democrats: Dreaming of doing good works.

Poor Man Who Thinks Big...

'Frankly, Earl, if I had realized that you were a toad instead of a frog, I never would have kissed you!'

Freedom, equality, brotherhood

'I begged, I pleased with him. I told him he'd be wasting his life. Why would he want to open himself up to public vilification? A life of virtual poverty, of shattered dreams!'

Clancy: Exception to the rule

Money

Ex-hippie-now-staunch-Republican Herb Miller's freak flag keeps on flying, much to his chagrin.

"If you want to turn it off, you just pull this chain until you accidentally turn it back on."

Lost & Found: Causes, Integrity, Opportunity, Faith, Hope and Virtue.

'Put this one in the isolation unit.'

Peace in our time?

The Well-To-Do and the Not-So-Well-To-Do.

Speech on poverty

Quixotic Intellectual