Id Card Irony Gifts

'I don't like to carry ID.'

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

You're fine, but we'd like to run some tests on your insurance card.

An identity thief takes the stand.

"I want to explore the brutal and true civilisation, to explore lands on troubled by tourist boards, and if you could sort five-star accommodation and decent Wi-Fi that would be perfect."

'Of course, one advantage to lethal injection is that Medicaid might pay for it.'

"You're doing fine, and we're cautiously optimistic about your insurance."

Scandal about listening on Facebook

Manual automation in the office.

'There's good news and there's bad news. The bad news is that you're very ill, and the bad news is that your medical insurance has expired... Oh I'm sorry, did I say there was good news?'

Senator Roy Blunt R-Missouri tweeted, "Senate Dems have obstructed POTUS' nominees at every turn..." Makes you wonder where this rodent was hiding during President Obama's eight years?

"Number three. Take off the hat and sunglasses."

Nurse. It's from your insurance company -- A "Get well-final notice" card.

'We covered, officer. We're just having a hard time finding our insurance card.'

Your medical insurance ran out? Like it was being chased by a grizzly bear.

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

'Oh, what the hell, let's stick it over there.'

"Of course, this policy will exclude flood damage."

'This is interesting, 70% of respondents to our survey said they don't respond to surveys.'

'I'd like to buy insurance to stop my insurance rates from going up.'

"These pills are $10 if you're paying for them... and $200 if your company is paying for them."

I need some medication for an infection I'm going to get next Friday!'

'I'm sorry, but medical science still knows very little about high-deductible insurance.'

"Your HMO offers a vasectomy for $18,000 or a wedgie by Lennie for $14.95."

"Sorry, Mr. Simon, but your company's dental plan restricts us to the use of these African Tick Birds only..."

"Oh, God – is that what I look like?"

'Planning permission was no problem but I'm having a hell of a job getting insurance for it!'

'Your medical problems are more complicated than I thought. I am going to refer you to another doctor, who has more medical insurance than I have.'

'Honesty is the best policy. It's also our most expensive.'