Ichthyologist T-Shirts

"Watch it. Here comes the law."

"The Chaetodon capistratus, commonly known as the four-eyed butterfly fish, is monogamous."

"Maybe we’ll get back together one day."

"Well, as an ichthyologist I have to correct you. Fish don't sleep per-se. . ."

They were a prehistoric tribe that worshipped a fish deity. Ich-theology.

Fishman of Alcatraz

'I see the fish are running to spawn.'

A fish swimming with an umbrella.

Person with an appointment to see the Ichthyologist see a 'Gone Fishing' sign on door.

Funky Facts: Sea Animals.

"Sorry Bob, but it looks like your Pilot Fish was collateral damage in the feeding frenzy..."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."