Ice Cream Humorist Pillows

'One scoop of sh*t, please!'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Cake Free Zone

Rude Snowpeople

"Of course I've been drinking!"

'You've had enough!'

Shaved Ice

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"It's obviously an original."

"I'm your surrogate mother, son. I just provided the oven."

Titanic iceberg auction

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

"America hasn't been discovered yet -- how about cheddar?"

"Hello, my name is Tony. I'm your waiter, and I'll be dining with you tonight."

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

'Did you just curdle?'

Cartooning

Thinking about TV.

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

His Other Shtick

'You're messing with my head.'

"My conceptual artwork - documented in these photographs - consists of my going on a bus to cleveland, buying a blue hat, putting three feathers on it, and throwing it off a bridge in Michigan."

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

"If a bowl of ice cream isn't the answer, you're asking the wrong question."

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.