Hyperactivity Explorer Pillows

'Wow! What energy drink are you on?'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

'I admire your floatibility.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Student Debt

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'You are here.'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!

A man's health care options.

'Another DIY enthusiast methinks...'

'I've given up on looking for the bluebird of happiness. . . I'd settle for the chicken of contentment!'

The loneliness of the particle physicist...'Everyone's interested in things that are much, much larger.'

"You'll probably have to start at the bottom, son, like the House of Representatives."

"I'd better go -- I think my wife's menopause has arrived."

"We've discovered the part of the human brain that activates achievement is located right next to the section that governs how much you look out the window."

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

Hypnotic Regression

'Have I ever fired you, Pete?'

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

'Has the medication had any other side effects?'

'.and you will be promoted to Regimental Sergeant Major...'

Man sees energy drink go hopping by.

'Hey! These new Google glasses are great!'

"If you're working from home today, do you mind if I go hang out at your office?"

'Who wants to live longer if you have to live without cookies.'

'I have two colds. I'm taking aspirin for one, and hot tea with whisky for the other.'

"I stay awake all night worrying about my insomnia, doctor!"