Hymns Pillows

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'What number is the hymn 'All things bright and beautiful'?'

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

Hildegard von Bingen

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Priest

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'Sorry I'm late - I was stacked up at the airport.'

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

Jesus breaks the bread.

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

'I'm a little tea pot...' 'Act your age.'

Four Chanting Monks

The Harper Government

'It helps with reception.'

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

"Please turn to page 38 in your hymn-or-her books." The feminist cause marches on.

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

Hymns - Optional Extras

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

Church Hymn

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

Fuzzy Wuzzy Logic.

The Red Cat: Lights/Red Cat Humour/Rhyme.

"I'm not so much interested in 'wellness' as I am 'swellness'."

Cough Mixture for Angels