Hymn And Goal Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I think the vicar's taking things too far."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Hildegard von Bingen

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Priest

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

How a poet works

'Champions league'

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

Four Chanting Monks

Eurovision Hymn Contest

"Please turn to page 38 in your hymn-or-her books." The feminist cause marches on.

'It helps with reception.'

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

'Major poets' 'Minor poets' 'Free agents'

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

Forrest Gander

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

Hymns - Optional Extras

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

Thomas Dorsey.

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You shirt, you fool, your shirt!"

Women's Rights Gone Amuck...

"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"

Bad Rhymes

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a... puppet? Strumpet? Trumpet? Musket, crumpet... I'm the worst children's author ever." Mother Goose struggles...