Hygiene Protector Pillows

"I'll just need to reset this, then come back for your dessert order."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Think of it as a big puddle."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

The Cougher

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Humans are strange."

Loofah Lady

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Hand sanitizer

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

Wash your hands

You have the worst spring breath.

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'