Hygiene Guardians Pillows

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"He likes it."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

Bumble Bee

"Careful. That house has a taser."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Covid Shield

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Biodiversity

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"Beware of God"

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Relax. They're just crows."

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

Aedes and Coronavirus perfect storm

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

Hospital.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

'Ready or not, here I come!'

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

The proper way to wear your mask

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.