Hygiene Historian Pillows

'He keeps a scrapbook of newspaper articles about bathtub injuries.'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"Think of it as a big puddle."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

The Cougher

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Whack-a-molecule

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Humans are strange."

Loofah Lady

Hand sanitizer

"Will these hands ne'er be clean?"

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

The new global mantra flag for the future

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Wash your hands

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).