Hurricane Aficionado Gifts

Alex Higgins RIP...

"Well, we needed the rain."

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'I told you to keep your rice in a plastic bag.'

Making fun of Starfish.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

Volcanic ash...

'Well, the weatherman was wrong again. He said we would have heavy but isolated showers today.'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"I was so shy I hid to sound her out. When the echo came back, she sounded really good looking, and the rest, is history..."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

I love thunderstorms!

'Coming up next. . . our traffic and weather report.'

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

Award Winning Photographer

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

"I visited Hawaii and ate native food...pineapple on my pizza."

"Attention... attention... the winner of tonight's lucky oar prize is..."

'The gods are angry with the airlines.'

Danger Coconuts

'Oh, mooom! Salesman-om-a-diving-trip again? Man, I'm really longing for the end of the holiday season!'

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

Clancy: Loud Clothes

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

'Well, stop watching him if it makes you stress over flood insurance.'

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

The Single Rain Drop

'The lightning struck the metal stud in her tongue.'