Humpty Dumpty Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"He's in an H.M.O. Get some of the King's horses and a few of the King's men."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

Pubertry

'Your brains are scrambled.'

"It's not easy being green…"

'Of course, Mr. Handley here is the one who does all the hiring and firing.'

Mr. Rogers' lockdown

Too Weird to Have a Husband

Mixed Nuts

"Why did you turn down the Easter bunny job?"

Bunny Trick

"We're expecting quite a litter this time."

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

The holidays start earlier every year

"God, they're needy."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

"You were right: watching humans setting up large family tents on a windy day is hilarious!"

'It must be your glands or something -- your tests indicate that you're turning into a giant Muppet.'

Humpty Dumpty, at his peril, visits the great wall of china.

"I'm telling you, Frank, it's getting to the point where I'm seeing muppets all over the damn place."

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"Not gelato – hummus."

'Are you able to adapt to unusual situations?'

'Whoa, whoa, buddy, we don't serve no pickled eggs here.'

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

"You know, sometimes all I really want to do is cuddle."

Pinocchio Acupuncture.