Humorous Soulmate-seeker Pillows

"I'm looking for the kind of relationship that won't interfere with government regulations."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

Shoe repair

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal.

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

Playing Footsies.

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

I'm used to seeing crocodile tears when I tell off a man in this bar, but this is the first time I've seen crocodile exclamation points. ! !

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

'I don't approve of sex before marriage. It often delays the ceremony.'

"We're looking for a ceremony less drastic than marriage?"

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"

"I now declare a thumb war."

"Todd and I are doing our best to make it work by never meeting in real life."

"Donald and I weren't made for each other, but we've never met the people we are made for."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

Looks like no Valentine for Phil this year...

'The dating agency matched me up with my avatar.'

Ratted!

'Sure, there's plenty more fish in the sea, but I'm a mammal: It's harder to find a date...'

Computer Dating Service: Be Careful What You Wish For!

"Love is easy to find. I'm looking for someone to talk Battlestar Galactica with."

Man to woman watching American football on tv: 'He's the 'reciever', not the 'receptionist'.'

'Really? I wasn't aware AARP had a clothing line.'

"Come play doubles with us, Danny."

"Friends with social security benefits inquire"

"I think I've just met my soul mate."

'You're very clean-shaven for someone who can't use a mirror.'

What started off as a quiet bath for Stanley suddenly turned awkward...

'Granted, you're his best friend, but he and I are soul mates.'