Humorous Risk Assessor Gifts

'I've forgotten my knee pads, you've strapped a gas bottle to your head. I dunno. It doesn't bode well, does it?'

Caution signs.

Safety Barriers

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

God bless our home equity line of credit.

First Aid Box

'Perhaps we do need a plan 'B'.'

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Cathedral Made Safe.

'Look at these accident statistics. What can't the government do something about it?'

"A little hard work never killed anyone. But still, why tempt fate?"

Laboratory- risk assessor

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Morning. I'm your new health and safety officer.'

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

"Of course not everyone believes in all the health and safety rules....Jim here thinks it's all complete nonsense!"

'So next time we help a customer take from a pyramid stack, which can should we choose ?'

Safety Pin

'You want to sue me for spilling tea down your own clothes!'

'It's just hot dogs. What does the health department care about hot dogs?'

'We're a srone's throw from Paradise Beach, and an avalanche away from oblivion.'

Caution! Wet Floor.

'My hedge fund just got trimmed!'

Take no shortcuts! Assess the risks!...

"What did I tell you about putting your eggs in one basket?"

'And I think maybe you should wear oven gloves for the cold produce.'

'Why do you have safety decals on your mirror, Ma?'

"We obviously have to carry out a full root and branch review here."

"Wait a minute - Where's the fire escape?"