Humorist Of Homemaking Pillows

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Yard Sale

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

How to Build a Bungalow

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Carpet Cows

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'