Humorous Homemakers Pillows

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

"Another unpaid nightshift! Please tell me you at least secured the video rights?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

How to Build a Bungalow

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Dog Bookends

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

CartoonStock Upload

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."