Humorist Mourners Pillows

Woman looks at nine graves reading 'Mr Tibbles', saying: 'I loved that cat.'

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

The First Fire Stick

Alien embryo growing in earth.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"She's a miniature."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Giant Monster in Bath

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"He looks just like your husband."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Why Superman flies himself

"Neversource"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."