Humorabilia Collector Pillows

I think getting a tattoo is a mistake. . .stop.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Billy. The Kid.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Eat me"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Vegetarian Birds

Cake Free Zone

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Downton Abbey Road"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

A watch face with Stonehenge

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

Bathroom Fairy

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'