Humor Theorists Gifts

'You think you're pretty humble, don't you?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

The First Fire Stick

Alien embryo growing in earth.

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

Zenemies.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Optimist

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Giant Monster in Bath

"She's a miniature."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"He looks just like your husband."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'