Humor Maven Pillows

'I can't write legibly... then my teacher would find out I can't spell.'

"Bad news, you have bookworms"

Muscles

Instructional guide to scribbling

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

Star Wars Audience

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"This is off our first TikTok."

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

"Arthur, I need my space."

Upper West Side Story

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

Boarway Show

Nick Cave

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"

"I lost the hand to a shark, the leg to a barracuda, and the gallbladder to Dr. Steven Erlich."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'