Humor Loving Gossip Prints

'Oh go ON - I love a bit of gossip.'

'She's so put together!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

A little bird told me...

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Tom Hanks

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Hollywood Breakup

JET (Part I)

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"Remind me - if I'm no longer a footballer, and you're no longer a celebrity. . . why are we here?"

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

Larry King

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

Pie chart of pub conversations

Emily Ratajkowski

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

Inventor of wheel and discoverer of fire seen on date! More (arrow). The first tabloid.